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If I had waited any longer than I did to have sex, it wouldn't have been for me; it would have been to placate a sexist system that thinks it is "cheap" for young women to take control of their sexuality, a system that demands that young women act like they have no sexual agency or desire at all.

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My boyfriend and I did the research about how to best prevent pregnancy, we were stone cold sober when we got it on, and we did it purposefully, with a great deal of planning essential when you're trying to engage in a sexual act in the same house where your parents are watching Frasier.

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5 Reasons I'm Glad I Lost My Virginity At 16

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But as I got older, I realized that 16 reads as a bit young for sex to many people — they didn't see me as the heroine of my own sexual destiny, but instead as a kid who wasn't old enough to be trusted to make decisions about her body.

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Description: However, when we express this concern exclusively about young female virgins, we end up doing more than just "protecting" girls who aren't ready; we also end up shaming girls who are ready, implying that they're either abnormal or lying to themselves.

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